AfterwardBy Jason Victor
Well, it has been a fun journey. I have to give my wife, Hilary a lot of credit. She knows how to plan a trip! If it wasn’t for her, I would never have seen as much of the world as I have seen by the age of 25.
This trip has been a trip of contrasts. We’ve gone from the city of Sydney to the seclusion of the Outback and to the resorts of Green Island in Cairns. We went snorkeling one day and hiked through a sacred Aboriginal site the next. We’ve slept in beds ranging from “California King” to “bunk” and have eaten hamburgers and kangaroo. Part of seeing just how special something is, is seeing its opposite. It’s what makes the change of the seasons so enjoyable for me, as well.
We’ve met so many people and had many experienced guides showing us the sites. Folks like Ben and “Cookie” and Shimi & Craig and Richard will not be easily forgotten.
This has been a fun final world trip, and I’m glad we’ve done so much with the time we’ve had so far.
Final tallies:Number of sunsets watched: 4
Number of sunrises watched: 2
Number of out-door urinations: 2
Number of hours in flight: 68
Loads of laundry completed: 2
Number of kangaroos eaten: 3
Number of emus eaten: 1
Number of emus who’ve eaten my hand: 3
Number of hotels stayed in: 6
Number of mosquito bites on Jason: 2
Number of mosquito bites on Hilary: 23
Number of shower floors Hilary’s flooded: 3
Location: Brisbane --> Sydney --> Singapore --> Frankford --> New York
Weather: Inside a pressurized airplane cabin
We took a cab this morning to the train station and just made a train to the airport! Perfect timing! The flight from Brisbane to Sydney was terrible! The flight itself was fine. It was the three-year-old terror sitting behind me that I could have done without. He treated my seat like a punching bag and no matter how many times I turned around to the child’s parents to ask them if he could avoid kicking my seat, they did nothing. The father slept while the mother read, the whole time, Damien (the name I made up for the three year old) was screaming and practicing being a place-kicker.
After the flight, another passenger confronted the father and said, “I like kids; I just don’t like parents who can’t control their children.” Then the guy responded by saying, “Then you must not like your parents very much, then.” The guy continued to confront the parents saying that their son never stopped bothering us and they did nothing. Luckily, it didn’t progress past that point. I think the guy said what we were all thinking, but it was a moot point by then. Also, unless you have children, it makes it difficult for you to criticize those that do.
Anyway, our travels continued to the international airport where we checked into the Singapore Airlines lounge! We checked our email and raided the fridge. I tried a Tiger beer. Not bad.
Now, I’m on the plane ride to Singapore (seven hours) followed by a flight to Frankford (twelve hours) followed by a flight to JFK airport in New York (nine hours) putting the total amount of time spent in the air on this trip to 68 hours! I’ll leave a few blank pages in case anything else of interest happens
Location: Brisbane --> Australia Zoo
Weather: Sunny and warm
Today’s our last non-traveling day in Australia, and we were excited because we’re going to see Steve and Terry Irwin … the Crocodile Hunter and his wife! We got to the train station and ate McDonalds (just as a comparison). I had a muffin and an apple! :)
The first show was the snake show. (Steve didn’t come out until the croc show). There were people coming through the exits holding snakes that you could pet. It was hysterical watching everyone shy away in terror as the snake passed by.
Then, they brought out the tigers! They were fairly large and they fed them with baby bottles. They would chase after the trainers and jump in the water with them.
Spotters were there in case the tigers decided to hold one of the trainers under the water “until the bubbles stopped.”
While they were getting ready for the bird show, a whip-cracking world champion, Freddie, came out and cracked whips to a syncopated rhythm. It sounded like she was cracking six to eight whips, but she only had two!
Then the bird show started. There were huge red and golden parrots. They flew all around everyone’s heads and one even flew out the exit. (It came back later). There was one parrot called Pepe who was just learning to fly. The previous owners clipped its wings and kept it in a cage, so when the zoo took him in, they gave him wing implants. Because flying was new to him, he would try as hard as he could to flap his wings, and he got so far as a pole, but fell short a few inches and thudded to the ground a few feet below. It really was funny (once we knew the bird wasn’t injured).
Then, the moment we all were waiting for … the croc hunter himself ... Steve Irwin! It turns out they had a fake Steve and Terry come out! Imposters! … and bad ones! In fact, their Terry impersonator was a man! They captured a camera man and then ran off.
Then, the moment we were really waiting for … Steveand Terry Irwin! They made a grand entrance, complete with blasts of fog, “Oh Fortuna,” (summer blockbuster movie 
soundtrack music), and a Panasonic jumbo-tron. They made a few jokes and then their first croc entered .. their daughter, Bindi, swam through the crocodile canal! She must be four or five now and she even had some lines in the show! She stuck around for the whole show and stayed behind two large spotters.
Even his best mate, Wes was there to help. They had a new croc called Mosman that they brought out. They escorted him through the love canal (called the “love canal” because they’d love to eat Steve) and into the Crocoseum.
Steve got really close to this dangerous beast and I thought we were going to watch Steve get eaten! Instead, he just kept messing with him. 
Steve would draw Mosman out of the water with some strips of beef. Then, he threw a whole goat leg attached to a rope at him (hoof and all). Once Mosman chomped down,
Steve pulled and 
Mosman did a head shake and then a death roll! Steve cut the rope and let Mosman have his feed. It took a while, but eventually, he swallowed the meat whole (including the hoof). I couldn’t imagine what the prehistoric crocs must have looked like. They were twice as long as the T-rex!
After Mosman was done feeding, he didn’t move. He just wanted to rest. Steve tried to get him back into the love canal any way he could. He tried tempting him with food, but Mosman was full. He tried a shallow dive into the water with the croc, but Mosman didn’t seem to mind.
So next, Steve tried tormenting him by pulling on his tail. Mosman moved a little bit, but not enough! So, Steve did something that he never had done before. He picked him up 
by the tail and dragged him to the canal! Everyone was nervous because they didn’t know how the croc would react! It snapped at him a few times, but eventually, they got the gate down.
Steve finished the show up by calling a giant eagle to his gloved hand.
After the show, there was only 45 minutes until the next show,
so we walked around for a bit and then staked out a good spot for the next 
show with Waipo (read “WEE-pah”). Steve did this show, too, and the murky water made the croc almost impossible to see. His spotters kept calling out when they saw Waipo and there were a few moments when he would stop taling, his eyes would get really wide and he’d stagger back.
They threw a tethered feed to demonstrate the death roll, but the croc snapped the leg in two and the rope broke off.
Steve got him out of the water one more time for the crowd and explained that Waipo was extra territorial because his Sheila was in the same enclosure with their nest of eggs! In poor taste, Steve went in the water and screamed like he was being eaten and Terry looked like she had a heart attack. I think the reason people find the Crocodile Hunter entertaining is the same reason people find NASCAR entertaining.
They want to be there when something terrible happens.
After the show was over we took a quick tour of the rest of the zoo. We saw Agro! I pet a snake! :)
Overall, the zoo wasn’t very big. We took a quick tour of the whole thing in forty minutes. The shows were very impressive and I was happy we came. The zoo itself has been around since the 70s, but only really started to flourish and expand once Steve married Terry and they took ownership of the zoo. She really seems like the brain behind the Crocodile hunter marketing.
After we got back to “Brissy,” we went on a bike-ride along the river and over Story Bridge. It was a great ride, except the map we had didn’t have street names, so we missed the entrance for a few turns.
We did see a lizard, though, and rock-climbers go up the cliff.
We rode along the river banks until there was construction, so we had to carry our bikes up a few flights of stairs, onto the streets of Brisbane, and then through a McDonalds outdoor area before we were back on track. We made it back to the rental place exactly an hour after we left. Good thing, too, because they had our credit card as collateral!
After the ride, we walked through the botanical gardens to our hotel, got changed, and went to dinner at Kabuki, a Japanese steak-house.
I caught an egg in a tea cup, or rather … I tried to catch an egg in a tea cup It landed square in my lap (and it wasn’t hard boiled). Our chef, Grant, cut the egg up faster than anyone I’ve ever seen!
Then, he started throwing food at us again. This time, it was rice!
The people who sat next to us were very nice and very friendly with the staff at Kabuki. I just assumed they were regulars, but apparently, they were celebrities, because they had special chop sticks reserved for celebrity visitors. I didn’t recognize them as famous, but maybe they’re big here in Australia? They were on their 25th day of vacation!
After our meal, Grant spelled out “Thank you very much” in salt upside down on the counter top! We figured he just learned how to write that upside down, but he wrote “Have a happy and healthy journey home” next! It was the perfect last dinner for our trip.
Location: Hobart --> Brisbane
Weather: 28 degrees C / 83 degrees F (and sunny)
Subtitle: Jason & Hilary and the chocolate factory
We checked out of our hotel and ate breakfast outside at the Elizabeth street pier at T/42 ° , then went back to the hotel to wait for our shuttle to the ferry. We waited and waited, but it never came, so we called, and they said that they would be right there. I think they forgot to pick us up!
They drove us to just behind where we ate breakfast! We could have easily walked there if we knew where it was. They were just about to pull out of the dock when we got there, but we made it. We got on our ferry cruise to the Cadbury Chocolate Factory.
The ride was an hour and a half and very nice. The guide was frustrated that no one was listening to his commentary, but what did he expect? There’s a boatload of kids on their way to a chocolate factory aboard. Good luck getting them to sit in one spot and listen to your commentary on the history of Aboriginal relations. He did say one interesting story, though. There was a horrible bridge accident where the captain of this huge barge refused a tug guide through the water. He missed his target and hit two bridge supports, taking out a whole section of the bridge.
At the end of our ferry ride, they kept trying to lasso the dock from the boat. They must have missed five times! It was pretty humorous. Then, we got off the ferry and took a short walk to the Cadbury Chocolate Factory, where we took our tour. They gave us SO MUCH CHOCOLATE that I thought I was going to be sick. We saw them making “Turkish Delights” and saw the rooms where they pounded, mixed, and stored all the chocolate. Unfortunately, we weren’t allowed to have cameras on the tour, so today’s entry has no pictures.
By the time we got back to the ferry, the heat of the sun and the sheer amounts of chocolate I ate contributed to my nauseous feeling, so we did what anyone would do in that situation … we got on a rocking ferry boat and ate lunch! We were both fine, though.
After getting back to Hobart, we were on a mission to get our money back for our (shudder) bus tour yesterday. We called their headquarters with our calling card and kept getting tossed back and forth until our minutes ran out, so rather than wasting more money, we decided to waste time instead. We walked all the way to the bus terminal and demanded our money back, and after playing phone tag and standing at the counter for a half-hour, we finally got a refund.
It was worth it. :)
After that episode, we ate dinner at Mures (lower deck) one more time. We both had oysters. Hilary had them raw, and I had them Kilpatrick style (bacon and teriyaki sauce on top). We also had some blue-eyed travalla and were on our way. We waited by the Airporter (owned by Redline Coaches) because we had prepaid for the return trip to the airport. We waited … and waited … until it was fifteen minutes late and we were going to miss our flight, so we said, “screw it. We’ll get a cab.”
So $36 later, we were at the airport with three minutes to spare. We must have looked frantic, because security searched my bags manually and swabbed me down to check for explosive residue.
We caught up with the driver of their Airporter shuttle and asked for our money back, but he said that he was there, but no one else was. So, he lied because we were there early and there were others waiting after we left! So the moral of this travel tale is never pay for a round trip shuttle, because they already have your money, so they don’t need to worry about picking you up. Airporter = bad!
Luckily, we made it to our next hotel without a problem. In fact, when we got to our room at the Stamford Plaza, we could hardly believe our eyes! It was BETTER than our last room and CHEAPER than the room with bunk beds! It was even cheaper than our room in Tasmania!
Our room was on the corner and had a view of the Story Bridge and the river below!
So, overall, Tasmania was beautiful, but their public transport system sucks. If I had to do it again, I would have rented a car and learned to drive on the left side of the road.
Location: Hobart, Tasmania
Weather: Warm and Sunny (but it rained for two minutes)
Today, we thought we would try our luck touring with a personal tour guide instead. Hilary called to verify our tour, and it was a good thing! They didn’t have us booked! Luckily, they didn’t have another tour today and he was able to take us! (They were having a problem with their email).
We ate a quick continental breakfast downstairs, then met up with our tour guide, Richard. He’s a real genuine local, full of local expressions like using the word “mossies” for mosquitoes and “Japs” for Japanese people. I don’t know if it has the same negative connotation as it does back home.
He had a new Nissan 4x4, which was much better than the puke bus we took yesterday. Our first stop was the Bonorong Wildlife Park! There were so many animals!
First we saw a Tasmanian Devil, which looked nothing like the WB cartoon version. They got their names from the early white settlers who heard growling and noises they believed belonged to a Devil. They have a unique shape to their tail which reminds me of prehistoric animals that haven’t evolved yet. They only exist in Tasmania.
Then we saw a wombat, a cute little digging animal with a hard ass. It uses the cartilage to protect itself from predators. It was very tame and seemed to like our attention. There were kangaroos, wallabies, and emus
all over the farm and we got to feed them! The emus were very aggressive and chased the kangaroos off! After feeding the emus, I had to count my fingers to make sure they were all there! I think they were out for revenge because I ate their cousin. Bwah ha ha ha haaaaaa…
After the emu were full, they let me feed some kangaroos. Hilary was funny. She just would go “here you go” and drop food on the ground. The kangaroos ate right out of my hand. They would put their little, clawed hands in mine to pull it closer to the ground. Some would just lounge around, while others would come right up to you. There were some momma kangaroos with joeys in their pouches.
We saw some emu eggs, and as I was taking a picture, we heard the sound of Satan. We thought it was the Tasmanian devils, but it was actually the cute, cuddly, koala bears ! They were awake, which was rare because they sleep twenty hours a day. Some were stretching, while others were just sitting on the ground. They only eat one specific type of Eucalyptus leaf, so they aren’t native to the Island of Tasmania (or “Tassie” as the locals call it).
After that, we looked at the largest breed of Eagle in Australia. These eagles have been known to carry small sheep and fly off! We left the zoo and went to Richmond, a small, quaint, little town with shops like New Hope back home. 
Unlike New Hope, though, this town was built by convicts. In 1823, convicts built the bridge into Richmond. We had coffee and banana bread (made by Richard’s wife, and very good, I might add) and walked through town. It had a colonial feel to it, and there were shops like “Just Lavender” where they sold all products with lavender in them like soaps and moisturizers. (Translation: Chick store, but it smelled nice).
We continued on our journey through to Eagle Hawk neck peninsula and took in the view. Like Hawaii, bees and wasps weren’t indigenous to Australia. They were introduced on purpose to get rid of other pests, but instead became pests themselves. At least I haven’t been stung … yet. They call it Eagle Hawk Neck peninsula because it was a very thin strip of land with a beach on each side. If prisoners tried to escape through there, the guards would release very vicious and very hungry dogs on them.
Going with the prison theme, we went to Port Arthur next. We ate a nice lunch (included), also made by Richard’s wife (pass along our complements), and played on the swings.
We then went to the convict museum display where we were handed a playing card and we followed the life of the prisoner on the card to see how they endured the prison colony. I got shackled. :(
We went on a ferry ride and saw the boy’s prison and the Isle of the dead (where they buried prisoners and workers who died). It really was pretty, but I wouldn’t want to be a prisoner there. They were slaves, put to work for no pay … all for some crimes as petty as showing up to work late repeatedly.
After the ferry, we went on a walking tour, where we had a different guide explain the property. He seemed like a frustrated actor because he had so much energy and emphatic pronunciation, but he was giving a tour of a prison. Although, this is the #1 tourist attraction for Tasmania…
Life was so bad for prisoners that one day a group of them walked down to the commandant’s whaling ship and they set off with it! The guards didn’t realize until later that the Commandant wasn’t on it!
The whole colony was founded because England wanted to show a presence and beat the French to colonization, so the Brits established a prison colony.
There were many buildings, including a church, where a preacher would lecture the prisoners about cleaning up their act. The aristocracy would leave through a separate exit from the prisoners and walk through a botanical garden. It was designed to remind those settlers of the mother country.
The harbor was where the prisoners were brought in and where they were forced to craft sailing vessels.
On the way back, Richard told us more local (and true) stories that I couldn’t believe! Apparently, a few friends were dragging a boogie board through the bay in Southern Australia and TWO great white sharks came out of nowhere and “tore the bloke on the boogie board to pieces in a matter of seconds.” I’m glad we heard that story AFTER we went snorkeling in the reef. Imagine seeing two huge great whites (like Jaws) coming straight for you.
Another story Richard told was about crocodiles. They were cleaning fish on the beach and the crocs would come by at night and eat all the leftovers. They got used to coming to the beach to feed. One night, the crocs got more aggressive and one went into a man’s tent and chomped on his leg and tried to drag him in the water. It was a horrific scene. The man was with his family. Luckily, the croc didn’t go for the children or the infants in the camp. The guy’s mother-in-law jumped on top of the croc and punched it in the eyes until it released him. She got bit herself, but they both had gotten freed (just hospitalized).
Now Rhonda, in the unlikely event that we’re camping in crocodile country and I get dragged out of my tent in the middle of the night by a fifteen foot crocodile, go for the eyes! :)
If you’re interested in taking a day tour of Tasmania, it’s actually more cost effective and enjoyable to go through a private tour with Richard. :)
Here’s his information, if you’re interested:
Tasmanian Prestige Tours
Site: http://www.tasmaniandaytours.com.au
Email: rjohn@ozemail.com.au
Phone: 03 6261 1135
Address:
Richard & Janet Onn
P.O. Box 621
New Norfolk 7140
